How to Put People at Ease

By Robert L. Cain, Copyright 2020 Cain Publications, Inc.

Putting people at ease is a basic step in getting people to react favorably toward you, says Dr. Arnold Lazarus, a psychologist at Rutgers University. He offers these suggestions:

1.Let people hear your voice. Don’t just nod. The sound of the voice is like a calling card or introduction.
2.Avoid talking too much or too little. If you tend to be too quiet, use more words. If you are a compulsive talker, try to summarize. Others often like to hold the floor themselves.
3.Use the word “I” in your conversations. You are much less of a mystery when you disclose something about yourself.
4.Look for something you can comment on positively. Pick something that you genuinely like about the other person and point it out to him or her.
5.Be able to laugh at yourself. If you tell a story in which you do not come out in a particularly good light, you will immediately see other people warm up to you.
6.Let your face express your feelings. If it is a mask, you are not going to put anybody else at ease.
7.Make eye contact often with the other person. By looking up at the ceiling or down at the floor while speaking, you make your listener feel ill at ease.

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